Don't Argue With Your Pregnant Wife

Why Sometimes It's Better to Be Wrong

So, early last week, my wife was dropping some hints that she was ticked at me for either something I had done, or something I was supposed to have done, but didn't. Just to set the record straight, my wife is the greatest woman in the world, and fortunately our arguments are few and far between. And I'll give her credit that usually when she gets mad there's at least a half way good reason. Having said that, my experience is that pregnant women in general are more apt to get ticked at the smaller things, than those that are eating for one, so to speak.

So anyways, she's upset about something. How did I know? Besides the looks and body language, I always know something's up when I hear an abundance of the words "fine", "ok", and "nothing". And the context doesn't really matter. "How's your mom doing?" "Fine." "How are you feeling today?" "Ok". "What's wrong?" "Nothing." Uh oh! "Is it ok if I play basketball tonight?" "Nothing would be finer." When those words start flying, I know I'm in for a "talk" sometime soon. And I love talking to my wife, but I am a man, and so this type of "talk" doesn't rate as my top 10 things to do.

Moving on to the point of all this. I had an idea as to why she was upset, and after three days of fines, oks, and nothings, I knew the "talk" was coming soon. (As a side note, things are always better after the "talks", but again, I'm a guy.) Before I leave for work she says, "I think we need to talk when you get home." Thanks honey. Now I have all day to think about it. So what do I do? I start to plan my defense. On this one I know I'm right. I've got argument A, B, and C. I've even got exhibits and even a little DNA evidence. There's no way she's going to win. As I get home from work I'm going through my opening statement one last time.

After we get the baby down to bed, it's time to battle it out. I've got my notecards out, and I'm ready to take her down. Then something happens as she begins to let me know why she's upset. I still know I'm "right", but I start to think about the consequences of my being right. What will I get out of it? Will I win the argument? Maybe. Will my wife get more upset? Probably. Can anything positive come out of me convincing my bride why she is wrong and I am right? I couldn't think of even one thing. So what did I do?

I sat there and listened. (Again, I'm a man, so actually listening instead of just pretending to listen is a step ahead in itself.) I still felt the urge to at least bring out exhibit B because it really was good, but I didn't. I told her I understood why what she was talking about had made her upset, that I was sorry for making her feel that way, and promised to try to do better to keep it from happening in the future. We hugged, kissed, and everything was good. And it was over in less than 10 minutes. And I meant every word I said to her.

A couple last thoughts. I still believe I was 100% "right" as far as the argument went. The things she said I had and hadn't done weren't completely true. But that doesn't matter. Perception is reality, and how she was feeling was true for her. To try to convince her otherwise would have been useless. And, the last time I'll say it, I'm a man, and I'm sure I probably did do something to tick her off. The pregnancy aside, you have to look at the outcome you want in deciding how to handle a fight with your spouse. There are times to battle, but when it comes to the feelings of your baby's mother, sometimes it's best not to be "right".